THIS ONE'S FOR THE LADIES

it happens every month. we get irrational, but just don't understand why until womanhood knocks on the door and hands you a super sized tampon.

and then comes the relief.

"i'm not mentally unstable, it's just PMS."

well WebMD has further enlightened me with the knowledge that the premenstrual cycle begins about 14 days prior to actual menstruation. so just to be clear:

women are crazy during the premenstrual cycle which lasts about 14 days.

women are depressed and bloated during menstruation which lasts an average of 5 days.

women experience, on average, 19 days of hormonal insanity every month.

if a month is 30 days long, a woman cannot be held accountable for her feelings or actions for 63% of that month. risk is increased during the blessed romantic month of february to 68%.

so if you were wondering why i looked up PMS on WebMD, i'd be happy to give an answer on september 29th after i've eaten my weight in ginger snaps.